Obsessed

I hate that word, I really do. I hate it and everything that comes to mind with it, but that seems to be a word that would accurately describe me these days. But being aware of my obsession I guess that gives me some control over it. It's not like I have some shrine were I worship her. I don't carve her name into my arm. It's more of a subconcioous thing. I think about her all the time, especially when I don't want to, and if I can manage to go a whole day without, that night I'll have some sort of dream with a special guest appearance. Let me tell you it's a really pain in the ass. It's not something I want to have but it's there, and trying to ignore it makes it worse. Sometimes I feel like there must be some kind of reason for it, like we still have some sort of connection. Crackpot theory I know. I think it just comes down to me having an obsession. You know I really hate that word